Desperate for change

I know I havent been patient and I know I havent waited long enough…But I am ready. Ready for something new. Somewhere new. Ready for someone just like you. Daily I’ve meditated about whats to come. What you have for me next and who you have for me next. Where you’d have for me to go.

I know that I am blessed, but maybe I haven’t counted my blessings lately, because I feel desperate. Desperate for whats next, for whats to come. Please begin to develop patience in me. Know that I will never stop looking to the hills with my hands far stretched. Stretched out to the one who is sovereign in my life. You know me more than anyone. You know what I feel, what I need and what my future holds. I can rejoice in your faithfulness. Because even when I have been disappointed I can have confidence that you are involved.

Friends take courage. You are not alone in your wait, neither are you alone in the feelings and struggles that come along with being patient. Patiently wait and win in the future which is orchestrated by our father. What are you lacking patience about?

patience

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What’s your trauma?

There is a place I often hear about when I ask my clients “How do you feel?” The response is “I don’t know”. Some things happen and words are to hard too explain. Its only something you can feel, because feelings are often too difficult to describe. The aftermath of the experience equals zero energy inside of you, but the feelings seems like it is 100% of who you are. No outcome, no meaning, just numb.
Some experiences shatter the belief systems that give meaning to your relationships. Especially the traumatic ones. Basic human relationships are then called into question. It goes from meaning to confusion, instantaneously. Your faith is violated, naturally or divine and you are left in crisis. Traumatic experiences breech attachments and the link between us and the world. Traumatic events destroy the victims assumptions about safety in the world, people and the value of self. Even though this is an unknown place. God would not have you to experience such things without the possibility of recovery. Recovery from past, present, and future trauma. Ask how to start your recovery today.

Late nights

Up late thinking about some things. I am grateful that God has my heart at rest. These last few weeks have been a little difficult in many ways. But I now feel such a burden lifted. When you are obedient to him.. even though there is fear and doubt, God sends peace of mind to his own.
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All or nothing

All or nothing.

Never be satisfied with a piece of someone, when your willing to give all of yourself. Its better just to walk away, and wait to become whole. Guard your heart.Your worth it plus more. In the beginning it will be hard and feel like your heart is empty. But the relationship that God has with us and expects from us is an example of true relationships and love. That’s what he wants for you. He expects to have our hearts, mind, body and soul. Don’t be afraid to give that.

Agape, Ladybria

Give All or Nothing

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Growing Pains

Growing Pains, forced to grow after being ripped out of your fantasy into reality

After a wound there is still a scar. A scar to remind you of that painful experience 

Growing changes your perspective, your reality, your character, your outlook. But sometimes the pain shadows the growth that has taken forth. Or that will progressively transform you.

Always remember, the most significant thing in growing pain is the growth not the pain.

Birthday

My birthday is one week from today. Even though I will not be turning 30 yet. I must say this is a bittersweet birthday. It has awakened many new realities. One being that I’m not a spring chicken anymore, but I’m not quit that older woman who I used to be afraid to be when I was in my teens. I’ve accomplished all that I have set out to do this far. But the mark of 30 is fastly approaching, has caused me to embark and begin to create  new and exciting goals for the future. Lately I’ve been sitting back and thinking “What do I want to do now”? “Where do I want to go now?”  I must admit that question will be answered much more differently today then 5 years ago…lol. My mindset has matured significantly.The way that I view life, suffering, experiences, and getting older is something I think about more deeply and often. When your birthday comes around people ask “Do you feel differently?” Well my answer is yes. I do feel differently. Different in a way that I no longer want to live the rest of my days solely and independent of myself. Getting older makes you reflect on your mistakes, your accomplishments, and think about the things you want to do differently. Or continue to do but improve. God knew me before I was in my mother womb, and he had a plan for me. I was designed and wired for that plan. Now I have to ensure that it happens.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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