My Long Journey Against Change


One thing I know about myself is that I DO NOT do well with change. I have dismiss the idea because I feel anxiety and my stomach turns just thinking about it.  I can be a control freak, and I become rigid in my thinking when taking risk. About a year ago, I came to the realization that my resistance to change begin to affect those who I love, and it started to stunt my growth. When did I become so uptight? When did I become so selfish? Most importantly when did I stop relying on God?  To take it a step further… did I ever fully rely on him? As a Christian I was ashamed to even admit that! At work I even avoided firing someone who definitely needed to go. Just because I didn’t want change in my department. Talk about foolishness! I went to the Lord in prayer “God help me to accept change. Help me to accept failure…. and help me to realize that you still love and have grace towards me when I fall”.

My life began to change, and it was unbelievably hard. I begin to let loose on my safety ropes ,and begin to take those 100 volt risk. It definitely has been a long process and a journey. I did things that I would NEVER do. I stumbled a lot, I was so afraid, I cried in discomfort, I tripped a few times. I succeeded and I have also failed. I must admit my failures go straight to my heart. I feel the full impact of the landing. They feel permanent, rejected, sometimes piercing, heavy, or like a tear.  I like stability. I don’t like feeling caught off guard. I like the known. I like planning my future. I don’t like my normal to be snatched away. I like knowing the essence, and intent of people in my life. I like to be liked.  I love to be transparent. I enjoy the process, but hate the ending. How am to have this ideology, in a world with everything being unpredictable. Life is unpredictable. TRUMP IS PRESIDENT! And I am in denial about the change that Obama is  I am maturing and beginning to look at change differently. I had to begin to not fear change or avoid it, but look at it as necessary and inevitable. Our relationships change, if not entirely, the circumstances change, our feelings change, other people’s feelings change, our bodies change, nothing is ever exactly the same each moment. We can not fully embrace God while holding on to our lives. Change is necessary for growth. I have no choice but to let go.

Matthew 6:27-33 –Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.








What kind of friendship is this?

This is a repost from my facebook notes:

Hey guys today I was reading this really good book by Dr. Myles Monroe and I came across some good stuff about friendships that can encourage us all to be a better to someone else. I think you all will find this interesting. U can apply this to ur relationships with the opposite sex also

Basically, the book says this

1. Acquaintances- occasional contact with very basic or general knowledge of each other. But this person is in your life for a reason.

2. Casual friendships- relationship with common interest, activities and concerns. Casual friends meet more frequently then acquaintances. More personal, sharing, laughing, involved, talking, participating in common goals.

3 Close friendship/ fellowship- mutual goals in life, mutual values and beliefs and worldviews, mutual projects together, genuine common fellowship. Traveling towards the same direction in life. Most ppl never get this far in relationships.

4. And then the highest level of friendship which is Intimate friendship and fellowship. – “Which very few ppl have” This is a committed to the development of each other character. This is beyond common interest but is when there is intimacy of spirit and mind rather than body. But walk together in oneness of the spirit.

Such intimacy among friends requires the freedom to correct each other, which is why this level seldom happens and can be risky amongs friends. Being open to correction means making ourselves vulnerable and many ppl are not willing to do that. So they never experience true intimacy with friends or in a relationship.. Intimate friends are driven to do everything in their power to help each other be better than the day before. We need to ask ourselves: Do I have that kind of friend? But more importantly “Am I that kind of friend to someone”? It is here where true intimacy begins to take place (and im not talking about sex) lol. True friends look out for each other welfare. They aren’t afraid to “Don’t do that, becuz its not good” They would say or do anything to put pressure on each other that can lead to damaged or compromised character. As believers in Christ we should reserve our intimate friendships for other believers, because then we are mutually committed to helping each other live and walk in the will and purpose of God and to develop godly character. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t build relationship with non- believers. How else could they see Christ in us?

Intimate relationships have the capacity to both give and receive correction from each other with grace and appreciation. Intimate friends love each other enough not to let sin, errors or wrong direction go uncorrected to respect and trust each other enough to receive correction w/o resentment or suspicion. They are comfortable in the knowledge that they are committed to each others welfare and greatest good. There is open honesty with discretion. There are some things we can tell our dearest friends that no ne else needs to know. Be willing to give our friend comfort and support during their times of trial and sorrow. And be just as ready at times of success and prosperity.

Be sensitive to each others traits and attitudes that need improvement, not only in our friends lives but also in our own. If we are committed to personal character development, we must be open to ways to improve and help our friends in the same way. Speaking character flaws is not for the purpose of criticism, but for correction. We want them to become the best ppl they can be. As concerned outsiders we can see friends character flaws better than they can. This is a two way street, however. Our friends can also see in us character deficiencies that we cannot see in ourselves. True friends are committed to working with each other to become better. We should search the scriptures for keys to building strong character, either alone or with our friends and discuss our findings. In this way we can grow together.We should always be committed to faithfulness, forgiveness, encouragement, loyalty and availability to each other.