My Long Journey Against Change

chnage

One thing I know about myself is that I DO NOT do well with change. I have dismiss the idea because I feel anxiety and my stomach turns just thinking about it.  I can be a control freak, and I become rigid in my thinking when taking risk. About a year ago, I came to the realization that my resistance to change begin to affect those who I love, and it started to stunt my growth. When did I become so uptight? When did I become so selfish? Most importantly when did I stop relying on God?  To take it a step further… did I ever fully rely on him? As a Christian I was ashamed to even admit that! At work I even avoided firing someone who definitely needed to go. Just because I didn’t want change in my department. Talk about foolishness! I went to the Lord in prayer “God help me to accept change. Help me to accept failure…. and help me to realize that you still love and have grace towards me when I fall”.

My life began to change, and it was unbelievably hard. I begin to let loose on my safety ropes ,and begin to take those 100 volt risk. It definitely has been a long process and a journey. I did things that I would NEVER do. I stumbled a lot, I was so afraid, I cried in discomfort, I tripped a few times. I succeeded and I have also failed. I must admit my failures go straight to my heart. I feel the full impact of the landing. They feel permanent, rejected, sometimes piercing, heavy, or like a tear.  I like stability. I don’t like feeling caught off guard. I like the known. I like planning my future. I don’t like my normal to be snatched away. I like knowing the essence, and intent of people in my life. I like to be liked.  I love to be transparent. I enjoy the process, but hate the ending. How am to have this ideology, in a world with everything being unpredictable. Life is unpredictable. TRUMP IS PRESIDENT! And I am in denial about the change that Obama is not..lol.  I am maturing and beginning to look at change differently. I had to begin to not fear change or avoid it, but look at it as necessary and inevitable. Our relationships change, if not entirely, the circumstances change, our feelings change, other people’s feelings change, our bodies change, nothing is ever exactly the same each moment. We can not fully embrace God while holding on to our lives. Change is necessary for growth. I have no choice but to let go.

Matthew 6:27-33 –Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Is Christmas Merry?

Christmas is such a beautiful holiday and many people make a big deal and put a lot of energy into it. Especially if you have children, and a huge beautiful family to enjoy it with. But I cant help but to think of so many people that Christmas wont be merry for. We say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” which is all fine and well. But, what about the person who will be alone on Christmas because they don’t have family? Or what about the person who has lost their job and is in financial hardship? Especially when the focus of Christmas in our society is all about gifts and being happy. What if you’ve lost a loved one? Times that once brought happiness, now brings sadness. I often think of those who have loved ones who were murdered and now their presence is gone.  Or people who have gone through a nasty break up or divorce.These people are left with emotions, memories and sadness to deal with alone.This can be a very lonely time of year for many. Lets not forget about them! There is something that we can offer to those that are not Merry during the holidays. What is Christmas all about? Encourage someone who doesn’t have or wont have. Think of those who have had significant loss over the past few years and give them a call, encouragement, or acknowledgement. Spend time with them and lighten their heart.From me to the hurting person, the lonely person, the sorrowing person. I give the true meaning of Christmas to you. Which is Immanuel “God is with you”, He will help you”,and  He will strengthen you”.The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”–which means, “God with us.” Matt 1:23

God is with you,
Ladybria

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